• Ohio law: "A person assaulted and lynched by a mob may recover, from the county in which such assault is made, a sum not to exceed five hundred dollars."
• California law: "It is a misdemeanor to shoot any kind of game bird or mammal- except a whale, from an automobile or airplane.
• Kansas law: "When two trains approach each other at a crossing, they shall both come to a full stop, and neither shall start up until the other is gone."
• Waterloo, Nebraska law: "It shall be illegal for any barber in this town to eat onions between 7 AM and 7 PM."
• Wisconsin Bill-223S: "All Wisconsin boarding houses, clubs, hotels, restaurants, must serve with every meal sold at twenty-five cents or more, not less that two-thirds of an ounce of cheese."
• In Cleveland, Ohio it's illegal to catch mice without a hunting license.

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A group of seven year olds were asked, "What do you think Noah's wife's name was?" Confidently and without hesitation one of the girls answered, "Joan of Arc."

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A woman angrily stomped into the town hall with the copy of her birth certificate that she had just been sent.
She emphatically declared, "My birth certificate arrived today and it is wrong."
The clerk, trying to be helpful, kindly ask her, "Show me what is wrong on it?"
She abruptly pointed to the name on the certificate and with frustration declared, "This is in my maiden name!"

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• Headline: "Nebraska Officers Best Bank Bandits" -Texas Newspaper
• Headline: "Bride Replaced on Highway 82" - El Paso TX Newspaper
• Headline: "Thugs Eat Then Rob Proprietor" - Dallas, TX Newspaper
• Headline: "Wild Wife League Will Meet Tonight" -Wheeling, WV Newspaper
• Headline: "Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case."
• Headline: "Deer Kill 17,000"
• Headline: "Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted."

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A busy funeral parlor director was preparing for a funeral one day and found his hearse had been covered with police department stickers. He anxiously attempted to scrape the stickers off the vehicle before his clients could read them. The stickers read, "Bring Them Back Alive."

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• In a Budapest zoo:
  "PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY."
• From the brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
  "WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOR."
• In a Swiss mountain inn:
  "SPECIAL TODAY--NO ICE CREAM."
• From the Soviet weekly:
  "THERE WILL BE A MOSCOW EXHIBITION OF ARTS BY 150 SOVIET REPUBLIC PAINTERS AND SCULPTORS. THESE WERE EXECUTED OVER THE PAST FEW YEARS."
• In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
  "WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS."
• In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
  "LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR."
• In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
  "THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE."
• In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from the monastary:
  "YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY."
• Outside a Hong Kong tailer shop:
  "LADIES MAY HAVE A FIT UPSTAIRS."
• In a Rhodes tailor shop:
  "ORDER YOUR SUMMERS SUIT BECAUSE IS BIG RUSH WE WILL EXECUTE CUSTOMERS IN STRICT ROTATION."