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A little old English lady was looking for a room in Switzerland. She asked the local schoolmaster to help her. A place that suited her was finally found, and the woman returned to London to make her final moving arrangements. She suddenly remembered that she had not noticed if the bathroom was close to her accommodations. She wrote to the schoolmaster to inquire but used the English expression for bathroom "W.C." (water closet). The schoolmaster was confused by the initials "W.C." and assumed they stood for the Wesleyan Church. So here was his letter of reply:

Dear Madam,
The W.C. is situated 9 miles from the house in the center of a beautiful grove of trees. It is capable of seating 350 people at a time and is open on Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday each week. A large number of folks attend during the summer months, so it is suggested you go early, although there is plenty of standing room. Some folks like to take their lunch and make a day of it, especially on Thursday when there is organ accompaniment. The acoustics are very good and everyone can hear the slightest sou nd.

It may interest you to know that my daughter was married in our W. C. and it was there she met her husband. We hope you will be there in time for our bazaar to be held very soon. The proceeds will go towards the purchase of plush seats which the folks agree are a long-felt need, as the present seats all have holes in them. My wife is rather delicate, therefore she cannot attend regularly. It has been 6 months since the last time she went. Naturally, it pains her very much not to be able to go more often.

I shall close now with the desire to accommodate you in every way possible and I will be happy to save you a seat down front or near the door, which ever you prefer.

Sincerely, Schoolmaster

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• A scout obeys all to whom obedience is due and respects all duly constipated authorities.
• The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.
• The climate is hottest next to the Creator.
• Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners.
• A census taker is a man who goes from house to house increasing the population.
• Water is composed of two gins. Oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.
• The people Who followed the Lord were called the 12 oppossums.