• From a help Wanted ad in Baltimore paper: Would you lie to sell real estate? If so call for an appointment to see us today. We will train.
• From a Long Beach classified: Jointer-Plane; used once to cut off thumb. Will sell cheap.
• From a Virginia paper: Save regularly in our bank. You'll never REGET it!
• From an El Paso Paper: Widows made to order. Send us your specifications.
• From a Connecticut paper: Wanted - A strong horse to do the work of a country minister.
• From the Washington Post - Sale : Oak dining room tables, seating 14 people with round legs, and 12 people with square legs.
• Amana Washer $100, Owned by clean bachelor who seldom washed.
• 2 wire mesh butchering gloves 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger Pair $15
• '83 Toyota Hunchback - $2000
• Nice Parachute: Never Opened - Used Once - Slightly Stained
• Free: Farm Kittens. Ready to Eat.

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"Operation Cat Drop" - This is a TRUE STORY!!

In the early 1950s, the Dayak people in Borneo suffered from
malaria. The World Health Organization had a solution: they
sprayed large amounts of DDT to kill the mosquitoes which
carried the malaria. The mosquitoes died, the malaria
declined; so far, so good. But there were side-effects.
Among the first was that the roofs of people's houses began
to fall down on their heads. It seemed that the DDT was also
killing a parasitic wasp which had previously controlled
thatch-eating caterpillars. Worse, the DDT-poisoned insects
were eaten by geckoes, which were eaten by cats. The cats
started to die, the rats flourished, and the people were
threatened by outbreaks of sylvatic plague and typhus. To
cope with these problems, which it had itself created, the
World Health Organization was obliged to parachute live cats
into Borneo.

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• From a Warren, Ohio Newspaper - "F.W.C. who has been ill with arithmetic was able to go out of the house Sunday."
• From a Los Angeles Newspaper - "The hostess drew a lot of interest by wearing her back suspended from her waist at the back."
• From a Houston Newspaper - "For cockroaches don't use sodium fluoride because children or cherished pets may eat the sodium fluoride instead of the cockroaches."
• From a New Jersey Newspaper - "Mrs. M broke her arm recently. She is recovering nicely under the car of Dr. Downs."
• From a Nebraska Newspaper - "Several deer hunters in the northwoods area in the past week have been shot at by mistake for wild animals lighting cigars."
• From a New Jersey Newspaper - "Out of 31 days, 155 were clear, 11 partly cloudy, and 55 cloudy."
• From a North Dakota Newspaper - "The next meeting of the Legion will take place on February 10. Every man who died for his country is cordially invited to attend."
• From a Minnesota Newspaper - "The Post Office Department is never questioned. Every person who presents a letter for mailing is fully confident that it will be safely carried to its destruction."
• From a Buffalo Newspaper - "An hysterical mother today asked police to search for her 141-year old daughter who disappeared last night. She is five feet, three inches tall, and weighs eleven pounds."
• From an Oklahoma Newspaper - "The choice is proper, and the act of presenting the plague to Mrs. M is a nice courtesy."
• From a Kansas City Newspaper - "The bride is approximately eighteen feet wide from buttress to buttress."
• From a Columbus Newspaper - "Recovering from a head injury and shock caused by coming in contact with a live wife, Arthur left Mercy Hospital Wednesday."