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News - Newsletters

Just for Fun
Issue 30-10-2003
He who hesitates is not only Lost; But Miles From The Next Exit!

Top Ten Worst Selling Genealogy Books

by Cindy Carman
  • 10. Ten Easy Steps to Making Your Own Coffin
  • 9. The Fine Art of Graveyard Maintenance
  • 8. Genealogy Sourcerybook - Trace your ancestors using spells, potions, and incantations.
  • 7. HairNetting Your Ancestors - How to dress your deceased loved one for those post mortem photos.
  • 6. The Dead Book - Everything you wanted to know about dead people but were afraid to ask.
  • 5. In Search Of Your Canadian Ruts - Or does your Canadian family follow a seasonal mating ritual?
  • 4. The Complete Guide to Erasing Your Family Tree - Or how to survive in the witness protection program.
  • 3. The Family Tree Defective - Tracing your crazy relatives
  • 2. Cyndi's Lisp - Family History research using those recessive genes.
    And the number one Worst Selling Genealogy Book:
  • 1. DNA Diggin' - Use of the Shovel in obtaining DNA samples.

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

**************

If lawyers are debarred and clergymen are defrocked, isn't it possible then that: Electricians can be delighted and defused, musicians denoted, Hanes debriefed, cowboys deranged and their horses derided, models deposed, tailors dematerialized, and dry cleaners could decrease, and then become depressed and depleted!

Furthermore isn't it possible that traffic cops could be defined, mountains defaulted, bricks delayed, shoes defeated, bedmakers debunked, and Baseball Players debased. Then landscapers could be deflowered, bulldozer operators degraded, organ donors delivered, fingernails could be defiled, and teachers would be detested and degraded. And at long last musical composers would finally decompose.

On the brighter side elected officials might become devoted.

**************

FUNNY SIGNS

  • Children left unattended will be towed at parents expense.
  • Above the dryers in the Laundromat: "Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out."
  • Please return the step ladder or further steps will be taken.
  • SECOND HAND SHOP Advertisement: We exchange anything. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.
  • SIGN AT A SAFARI PARK: Elephants Please Stay In Your Car.
  • SIGN ON REPAIR SHOP DOOR: "We can repair anything. Please knock hard the bell doesn't work."
  • SIGN ON TOILET DOOR: "Toilet out of order. Please use floor below."
  • SIGN ON SKI LIFT: "No jumping from the lift. Survivors will be prosecuted."
  • Official sign near door: Door Alarmed - Handprinted sign underneath: Window Frightened.

Old principals never die; they just lose their faculties.

Copyright ©: 2011 Cindy Carman. All rights reserved.

No reproduction of this article may be used without the express written permission of the author.
 

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