• Ushers will eat latecomers.
• This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and the north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
• Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
• The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
• The Rev. Morgan spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
• This being Easter, we will ask Mrs. Jones to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
• Scouts are saving items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
• The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
• Evening massage at 6 p.m. in the Chapel.

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Experience enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

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Try these anagrams on for size:
When you rearrange the letters of the word
DORMITORY it becomes the word. . . . Dirty Room
EVANGELIST rearranged becomes. . . . Evil's Agent
MOTHER-IN-LAW becomes the word. . . Woman Hitler
PRESBYTERIAN rearranged becomes. . . Best In Prayer
THE EYES rearranged becomes. . . . They see

Words of Wisdom from Children
Or true accounts of how children under 10 have completed some well known proverbs.

• It's always Darkest before. . . .Daylight Savings Time.
• Better Be Safe Than . . . . .Punch a 5th Grader
• Strike While the. . . .Bug is close.
• Where there's smoke there's. . . . pollution.
• Laugh and the Whole world laughs with you, cry and. . . .you have to blow your nose.
• If at first you don't succeed. . . get new batteries.
• When the blind leadeth the blind. . . . .get out of the way.
• You can't teach an old dog new. . . . math.
• Don't Bite the hand. . . . . that looks dirty.