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Just for Fun
Issue 30-5-2003
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine!
Epitaph
Here lies the body of
Henry Marshfield
If not, notify
Ginsberg & Co. Undertakers at once
Newspaper Bloopers
- Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
- Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
- Eye Drops Off Shelf
- Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
- Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
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Confidence is the feeling you have before you really understand the problem.
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More Top Ten Ways to Drive the Census Taker Crazy
By Cindy Carman
- 10. When he asks how many in the household you say, "Six counting the 2 hostages in the basement."
- 9. When he asks your name say, "Most of my mail says Occupant."
- 8. Aggressively pop the bubbles in bubble packing wrap during the whole interview.
- 7. When he asks where your father was born tell him he's an illegal alien from Mars.
- 6. When he asks if your Father is living say, "Mother said he's one of the living dead."
- 5. Give all your answers in mime
- 4. Give all your answers using cue cards with mirror writing.
- 3. List your sex as neutered.
- 2. Say your last name is Kevorkian and offer him the latest in lethal injections.
And the number ONE Way to Drive the Census Taker Crazy:
- 1. Answer every question "Jeopardy style" with a question.
Bob Blake went to his 1940 High School reunion and found that he was listed as "deceased" on the program.
An award was later given to the person attending who had come the farthest distance to attend. Bob objected saying, "I came back from the dead, and that's a lot further than Seattle."
Copyright ©: 2011 Cindy Carman. All rights reserved.
No reproduction of this article may be used without the express written permission of the author.
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