• WARNING SIGN: "Warning Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned by order of the District Council."
• SIGN in a Field: "Farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges."
• Headline: "Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charges."
• Headline: "Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant."
• Headline: "Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers."
• "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Randolph of Denver announce the birth of a small 7-year-old child, who didn't give his name." - Rifle, Colorado newspaper
• "England is suffering from a plague of aunts. In many houses these have visited rooms on the second floor." - Montpelier, Vermont newspaper
• "Coroner Ed Kraft said Williams had become demented and died of natural causes after an autopsy was performed." - Evansville, Indiana newspaper

**************

• His obnoxious brother -Please Gogh
• His Brother who ate prunes - Gotta Gogh
• His Brother who worked in the convenience store -Stopn Gogh
• His Grandfather the automaker from Yugoslavia -U. Gogh
• His Cousin from Illinois - Chica Gogh
• His Uncle, the magician - Wherediddy Gogh
• His Cousin from Mexico -Amie Gogh
• His Mexican Cousin's American half Brother -Grin Gogh
• His nephew who drove the stagecoach - Wellsfar Gogh
• His constipated Uncle -Cant Gogh
• His ballroom dancing Aunt - Tang Gogh

Some people have said at my age, I should be thinking about the hereafter. I told them I do that all the time. No matter where I am, in the kitchen the bedroom, the living room, or the basement I ask myself, "Now what am I here after?"

"Hostile" radar gun! a TRUE story

In the spring of 2000, two Scottish police officers using a handheld radar gun were conducting radar speed enforcement on a road from Edinburgh to London (the A-1). One of the officers used the device to check the speed of an approaching vehicle and was surprised to find that his target had registered a speed in excess of 300 mph. The radar gun then stopped working and could not be reset.

The radar gun had actually clocked a NATO Tornado aircraft in the North Sea which was taking part in a simulated low-flying exercise. Later the RAF liaison office said that the police officers had had a lucky escape. The tactical computer on board the aircraft not only detected and jammed the "hostile" radar, but had automatically armed the air-to-ground missile ready to neutralize the perceived "threat."