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by Cindy Carman

• You can't pass a cemetery without stopping to see if one of your relatives is buried there.

• There's a microfilm reader installed in your bathroom

• You call traveling 10 miles to the shopping mall a lengthy trip but call a 100 mile trip to a cemetery a quick jaunt.

• You spend more time in the county courthouse than your local trial lawyer.

• You ask every person you meet the last names of their grandparents.

• You have a massive collection of articles in which your surname is mentioned only once.

• You have carpal tunnel syndrome from cranking microfilm reader handles.

• You can recite the day, month, and year of your great grandmother's birth but can't remember your own spouse's birthdate.

• When someone says they have a new Chicago CD you think they are talking about a vital records CD for Chicago,IL.

• More than half of the photographs in your photograph albums are of dead people.

• When someone asks you if you've seen any of the newly released films you think they are talking about the newly released Federal Census films.

• You can remember things that happened 100 years ago but can't remember what happened yesterday.

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Cemetery Sign: A marble orchard not to be taken for granite.

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Most people have a photgraphic memory, some just don't have film.

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A pair of Martians landed on a country road on Earth in the middle of the night. "Where are we?" one asked.

"I think we're in an Earth cemetery," his companion answered. "See there is a gravestone over there -- that man lived to be 108."

"What was the man's name?"

"Miles to Omaha"