• The accident occurred at Hillcrest drive and Santa Barbara Avenue as the dead man was crossing the intersection. -- Daly City, CA
• Anyone not able to pay and stating so, will be buried free of charge. -- Sherbrooke Daily Record, Canada
• The following correction appeared in a small town newspaper: "Our paper carried the notice last week that 'Mr. John Doe is a defective in the police force.' This was a typographical error. Mr. Doe is really a detective in the police farce."
• Sprinkle on the shelves a mixture of half borax and half sugar. This will poison every aunt that finds it. -- Norwich Bulletin, CT
• Did Mrs. Deed plan the murder of the two women whose bodies were found in trunks a week before the crime was committed? -- Bradenton, FL
• A judge, famous for the reconciliations he has brought between warring husbands and wives, exacted from certain husbands a promise that they would kill their wives every morning before leaving for business, and every evening when returning home. -- Roanoke, VA
• Mrs. H. M. sued her husband for a divorce and separate maintenance, alleging that on the morning of May 4, he subjected her to ignominy of being continued at the top of column 8. -- Petersburg, VA
• A screaming crowd of 200 men and women tonight attempted to lynch S.S. . . Two policemen defended the prisoner until refreshments arrived. -- Honolulu

**************

• 10. The copy machine that gives you a shock when you violate the "5 copies only while others are waiting" rule.
• 9. The microfilm reader that plays "It's a Small World" as you turn the crank.
• 8. Librarians who sneak up behind you with an air horn to announce library closing in five minutes.
• 7. The patron sitting across from you who loudly says, "I found your picture in this book and it says you are 59 years old."
• 6. Finding your name in a book listed with the wrong birth date.
• 5. Sunburn received from the malfunctioning computer monitor at the library.
• 4. Your ancestor's will that leaves his estate to his beloved wife and children but doesn't give their names.
• 3. State-of-the-art postal mail sorter equipment that loses or destroys your mail in a fraction of the time.
• 2. The law of physics which states paper deteriorates at a rate inversely proportional to the value of the data recorded on it. And the number one Genealogist Pet Peeve:
• 1. The Librarian that enforces the "Quiet Please" rule by putting duct tape over your mouth.

What agonies must the author have endured who wrote that "he kissed her under the silent stars"; only to find that the newspaper typist had written his words as, "he kicked her under the cellar stairs."